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Of the 50,000 plus thoughts we have in a day, which one should we listen to?
Research estimates we have between 50,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. On the low side, that would be around 2100 thoughts an hour. It’s a wonder we can think at all!!
In trying to process a situation recently, a very wise client said they were looking for guidance in how they could determine what was noise, or what was important to listen to, when trying to figure things out. A very important topic for reflection. Many of us are looking to make changes or even just processing circumstances and looking for direction on how to make solid and informed decisions. What course of action to take in regard to career, relationships, education, personal development… it runs the full gamut of life.
It will not be a surprise for many of you to hear me play the mindfulness card on this topic. At some point, there needs to be a reigning in of thoughts to help with clarity and focus. The brain is pretty sophisticated and there IS some natural selection going on with all those thoughts. We do have the natural ability to sort and sift to make immediate decisions about important things. For instance, if you noticed the brakes in your car were not working properly, you might not be thinking about what to have for dinner at the same time.
In life, there are many situations we all face, some of which have larger consequences than others. However, we can be left wondering, “Am I just complaining, or is this really an issue?”. You can fill in the blanks for your own circumstance but here are a few things to consider when you find yourself in this situation.
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1. Are there any patterns in this situation that seem familiar? For example, let’s say you are unhappy at work and want to change jobs. Are the circumstances that rub you the wrong way issues in which you have been unhappy about before? Such as, “my boss does not respect me or my ideas”. Has this happened before? Are there other areas of your life where you might feel you are not being respected? If you can pick up on any repetitive patterns, you might want to look into your belief systems around the issue of respect. (Or whatever your themed thought is). Your assessment of the disrespecting boss might be 100% on target, but it is ALWAYS beneficial to take a hard look at the thoughts that occupy your mind to do some reality testing on your own first. Remember, wherever you go, there you are!
2. What are the feelings around this issue? This might be a little trickier but tapping into feelings allows us to process information differently. Thoughts come and go, mostly by default, but thoughts also create feelings and emotions that sometimes are easier to detect. I believe how we feel about the thoughts we have directs more of our behavior than anything else. If we are in tune with our bodies, we can often pick up on how an environment/situation makes us feel, which might shed some light on our situation. Many times, we are not even aware of the thoughts going on in our mind, but usually we can pick up on a feeling – if you can connect those together, you have provided more information about where you stand in the situation.
3. Consider the values at play here. Our values play a huge role in how we feel about the life we live. Understanding our values is like having a compass with us at all times. When our values are being honored and expressed through our actions and circumstances, we feel satisfied and joyful. When they are not, we know the difference. This is an exercise I do with most of my clients, and you can learn more about this topic by checking out my blogs on values (Why personal Values Matter & 7 Ways to incorporate Values…. ), but for starters, you can get a short list by doing the following:
- Think of an event in time when you were at your happiest and feeling completely in flow? What was happening, who was with you? Where were you? List all of the details about this and see if you can figure out which values were at play in this circumstance.
- Conversely, think of a time when you were angry or frustrated – do the same.
4. The last item to consider is always make changes and approach important decisions from a POSITION OF STRENGTH, which I will discuss in the next blog.
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For today, understand that you are always in control of how you want to process the many thoughts running through you mind. By giving yourself the gift of being more mindful, examining patterns, feelings and values present in your life experience, you can approach circumstances with more clarity and steadfast focus.
Until next time,
Mindfully yours – Jean
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