Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa…. is it possible?

Tabula Rasa means wiping the slate clean. Since it’s the end of January, I find myself thinking about New Year’s resolutions and how they might be going. There are so many thoughts about the new year and making changes (hopefully positive ones) that I decided to look at the process and how many of us approach this.

Even if we don’t say it out loud, the inference is always there: “I’m starting over,” “It’s back to square one,” “I’ve blown my diet,” “I’m way off track,” “New year, fresh start.” I can go on and on. Sound familiar?

This mindset is such a large part of being human: the innate desire to keep going, keep getting back on the ride, and keep moving forward. Even for those who don’t do much, the mere act of survival illustrates the resilience of the human spirit. However, the concept of ‘wiping the slate clean’ as a therapeutic perspective needs to be explored.

My mantra is about potential and always moving things forward. We know from experience that we cannot be a part of this life and not make mistakes or get into some kind of trouble. For various reasons, we all have things that nag at us –things we know that if we could only manage or change our lives would improve. So we think.

If we have had trouble overcoming addictions, self-defeating behaviors, or relationship or work problems, are we really starting over when we try to do things differently? I don’t think so.

In reality, the challenges, destructive behavior, and dysfunctional relationships (at home or work) are very much a part of who we are as individuals in this world. When we fantasize about starting over, we disconnect from a significant part of our whole being, and we cannot affect true, long-lasting change.

It seems silly to say, but honoring the bad, along with the good, goes A LONG WAY in taking the first step toward positive change.  Bring it all in, and accept all that you are.

Taking full inventory of our strengths and weaknesses is powerful. We find that many of our weaknesses were developed in response to certain life events and might have actually helped us at one time. Don’t throw them out!

Personally, I have allowed being busy and running my own business to get in the way of my health goals. Maintaining a healthy weight and having a strong body are very high on my list of values, and it is clear that I have not been honoring those. So, the new year has brought into focus my need to make a commitment to those values. I cannot erase anything, so I need to start exactly where I am. There is no benefit to my getting angry or discouraged about ignoring these things. I put my attention elsewhere and sometimes, that needed to happen. As a trained professional, I have a keen eye for my own shortcomings! I may notice them faster and have resources at hand to help me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have them.

I own them and move on. So, as you look at your list of positive changes for the new year, can you look at the part of yourself that you might have tried to cut-off and disregard? Can you see the big picture of your life and how all your experiences have made you more evolved – maybe more compassionate, loving, strong, and thoughtful?

Keep at your goals of self improvement. Don’t ever give up. Maybe just try to accept yourself for ALL that you are! And, if you slip, so what – just get back up, dust off, and keep going.

Happy New Year!

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